When does Elf on the Shelf come and (more importanly) when does Elf on the Shelf leave?

It's midnight ....

you've fallen asleep watching the 19th episode on the spin of 'Kendall Rae' - you're sleep deprived, broken and have gone over many times in your head how you set about leaving the sofa and emigrating to the bed upstairs.

Your cramped neck says YES but the effort-involved says HELL NO. Finally you muster up enough gumption to arise and power-walk up the stairs to the bathroom as you cannot live with the guilt of not brushing your teeth before bed (that and the fact you still have half-finished Lindt D'ors clinging to your meek molars!)

As you look at your reflection in disgust . . you ponder your life. As you ponder an unholy aura starts a creeping up each and every vertebrae of your soul. This sinister force is one that has troubled you before, like an anxious 'why am I in school naked' dream but a force that always seems to coincide with the Christmas holidays.

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Ah yes ! You've forgot to do the flipping do good Elf on the Shelf! Or in my case - you've forgotten to do both of your Elves on both their flipping shelves and they are still where you left them the night before (so you've got all that mess to clean up as well.) Are you really all out of Elf on the Shelf ideas ? Elf on the Shelf games ? Never !!!!

I am on my 6th year now of doing elf on the shelf and this time of year fills me with dread, but I am still yet to miss a day where I have failed to get Fig and Pud (yep that's what we called our little feckers) in some sort of mischievous position that have entertained my boys the next morning.

What a world in which we live when we give our Elf on the Shelf names?!?

There was just the one time I did forget (ok ok) and just before our boys came into the bedroom I grabbed my lipstick and painted the end of my husbands nose with it and blamed it on the elves. *engaged poker face, made it sound plausible and they bought it hook line and sinker ! Gullibles Travels Land Ahoy ;-)

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Don't forget there's a PART 2 and PART 3 AND PART 4.

So here are 10 simple ideas for Elf on the Shelf UK (not in elvish) but one which is a great Elf on the Shelf welcome back ideas to help you 'BWOSS AT LIFE' with all things effing Elfing.

1. All you need is elves (as it is not a bought Elf on the Shelf kit) and 24 cups. 12 filled with rubbish. 12 filled with sweets (elfs gifts). 24 pieces of paper with numbers on them. Lift the cup with the same number as the piece of paper you chose.

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2. Elf on the Shelf Clothes. Make some hats (the same colour as your petulant imps) out of felt and card. Stick these on a photograph of your little ones. Elf make Christmas great again (and not just the film)

3. Elf on the Shelf ideas toilet paper! Roll that painfully skinny elf torso in a toilet roll. I had done a kinda tyre-rolling 1950's Americana vibe with the competing teams being Star Wars Vs Back to the Future.

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The figures being from the amazing Star Wars Advent Calendar and Back to the Future Advent Calendar.

4. Christmas Elves decoration. Use cuddly toys, string them together and attach to a box (AKA The Elf Sled.) Throw in a Pinãta too - FELIZ NAVI(DAD actually did this one)

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5. Elf on the shelf fishing for compliments. Get those flamboyant little fairies totally on the glam wagon with some fabulous false eyelashes and some 'lady danger' lippy

6. Elf on the Shelf green camouflage coloured face paint + camo-gilets (used an old theme park waterproof poncho) and sling your elf cadets in the Christmas tree (you'd be forgiven if you then forget all about them until you recycle / set fire to your tree)

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7. "Cut off his elf" on the shelf, and pop them in a baguette. I wouldn't necessarily send this in as your child's packed lunch however (*chocking hazard / death by elf) Although apparently the Blue Elf on the Shelf taste sweeter. Could bread be the new Elf on the Shelf gift bag? or Elf on the Shelf black magic?

8. Need to translate Elf language so your children understand? Then get it on a Message / Letter Board. Use felt to make some TMNT (teenage mutant ninja turtle) bandanas (and yes I was tired and it was the best pun I could muster) Cool elves!

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9. It's not quite videos of Elf on the Shelf talking but these are very much action elf pictures. Polaroid or Fujifilm Instax instant cameras are great fun and great elf Christmas gifts - if you aren't put off by the cost of the film *insert cash flying emoji here* I even risked capturing the tiny terrors in bed next to my boys as they slept (with the hope I wouldn't give them nightmares for all eternity) Next step: set up elfs instagram

10. Elf on the Shelf arrival ideas. Let's end PART 1 on a high (*nods hat, winks and celebrates the pun) Look at this for Christmas Elves Decorations! I made this cardboard plane, spray painted it and hung it from the ceiling. This was December 1st and announced the Elves arrival in our house (obviously from here the effort reduced to the usual setting of 'the absolutely minimum') Just take the elf back to the North Pole already!

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Next up .. Elf On The Shelf Ideas & Games PART 2 and PART 3 and PART 4 . See you there (I better get thinking about Elf on the shelf dog names)